A good, sound spanking, on the other hand, releases built up tensions and frustrations in a marriage and can actually be enjoyable for the wife. So, instead of feeling helpless and desparing, a wife can threaten a punishment she is more than willing to carry out and feel power and hope for her marriage instead. Additionally, her punishment of him will be loving as well as disciplinary. Alice must always show respect to me as the authority figure. This discipline involves curtseying, maintaining the home as a housewife, kneeling before me, massaging and washing my feet after a hard day and so on.

Big relationship problems are seldom simple and one-dimensional. The core issue often is important, is real, and does need to be dealt with. But, that core issue often is bound up with a whole bunch of peripheral issues, including how we communicate about the problem to our partner and also to ourselves. I tripped over this story last month and thought to post on my birthday. It’s another by Divine Miss E. This one is different from the others. It shows that a bottom can imagine how she would top. It never happened. Submission was never my cup of tea, First published 1998. The latter is a whole other animal and is laden with all sorts of patriarchal and religious baggage that I want no part of. At best it reinforces the destructive notion that men should be the heads of their households and that women should be subservient to them. At its worst, it can serve to justify coercion and physical abuse. Our friends had a charming view of your bright red bottom while you stood there. Marge and Evelyn seemed to enjoy the sight immensely. Strangely, I don’t think Sam or Bill so much as glanced in your direction through the entire thirty minutes. I got resentful, and probably a little jealous, about one particular way she was spending her time and who she was spending it with. Instead of communicating how I was feeling, I let it fester until, when the issue arose again, I cut loose with a snippy comment. Things escalated from there into a full-blown argument and going to bed angry. Which is rare for us.

DD Our Way

I have shared before that Leukemia has caused a lot of changes in my life. Little things like I had a glass of apple juice every morning when I got up for decades. Suddenly, the taste of apple juice was most unappealing. Several other foods were out.

Regardless of how much we want spankings to be “real punishment,” which the husband has to accept whenever the wife decides with no questions asked, ultimately there is always consent involved at some level. It is never truly involuntary punishment. Even though the husband may not “consent” to any given spanking, he has given a blanket consent by agreeing to enter this kind of lifestyle. And, really, he can walk away or refuse to be spanked at any time.Over the last three weeks, my sister-in-law’s victory has been solidified. When I phone her, she says, Hello, nostril! Then when I grovel and bring up the framing on the skylight, she says, I thought you were calling to talk about string theory!

Some grew up in very structured homes or had a strict but caring parent, and they miss something about that structured environment. Others of us grew up with parents who exercised little control and who set or enforced few rules, causing anxiety around having too much responsibility before we could really handle it. You can use the color of your man's bottom to gauge the level of mental effect your spanking is achieving. The more memorable you make each spanking, the greater the benefit it will be for you and your man. Spreading out the spanking evenly across every area of his bottom will reduce the appearance of blood from welts or cuts from your implement. This will allow you to spank longer, and harder, while preserving the overall integrity of the skin so he will be ready for your next spanking. With the right balance, you can ensure that every time your man sits down, he will be thinking of you and your loving discipline. You can also maximize your effectiveness and total strokes by using a variety of implements in one spanking. It wasn’t till the next morning that I realized what deep shit I was in. I’m putting in a second bathroom and have been getting tons of architectural advice from my sister-in-law, and I realized I could forget about asking her about the construction of the open-stud book-shelf-wall, which was her idea in the first place. I said, I guess I better not ask you for any advice on the bathroom. She sat down across from me on the porch. She explained that it had been my tone, so condescending and arrogant–that she had seen my head rising and that I looked down my nose at her and flared my nostrils. The plain fact is, many men in these relationships want it to feel like discipline is imposed, i.e., that it’s going to happen whether they like it or not.That’s right, hubby. You were both being childish and acting out of control that evening in front of our friends, weren’t you?”

Many men in these relationships would say that while they don’t like giving in to authority, they see the benefits of doing so when it comes to their wives. And, they generally have a high degree of respect for her judgment. That’s right, and then did I take you over my knee so that your cute, spankable, bare bottom was on display as an object lesson for Sam, Bill, and their wives?” I was always a 50/50 switch. It made no difference to us who went first. It was going to be fun. It evolved that it worked best for her if she was spanked first as I was not completely rev beyond red line by being paddled first and I could take my time with her and paddle her as she liked it. Besides the obvious (role reversal), what are some of the key differences you see between the FLR dynamic and the traditional dynamic of domestic discipline? Had she made that point the day before, when I was at the peak of my agitation, I probably would have asserted that the whole thing should have been readily apparent, so why did I need to point it out?She became very proficient with the cane and could strike hard enough to be extremely painful without being brutal. Nevertheless my bottom would be covered in parallel red welts for 10 days or so afterwards. How open are you about the FLR aspect of your relationship? Do your friends and family know? If not, how do you think they would react? If so, how did they react? Finished, I let him loose and told him to get up. As I have taught him, over the years, he thanked me in the traditional manner. Then I spanked you with my sandal until you showed genuine remorse. I might have felt sorry for you and even saved your correction until after our guests were gone, if I had not warned you repeatedly of the consequences of sassing me in public. So, what happened next?” As I related in that article, a few years ago I worked on a major project with someone at work who I was good friends with. He was a good 15 years senior to me, but our skillsets were different and we brought different kinds of experience to bear. There were times when we disagreed on major strategic decisions, but because we were peers at the top of the org chart, there was no clear mechanism for breaking a tie when we didn’t see eye-to-eye.